Tuesday, January 1, 2013

bye bye 2012.

i have never been one of those people to wish a year away. with the girls growing up so fast, i hate that each of their birthdays come so quickly and i get teary thinking of how old they are getting. aidan turning six was, like, ::eyepop:: since 6, to me, is just... so old.

2012 started off rough. last january, my parents got into a horrible car accident. and, truly, are only here bc angels were watching them. since then, we found out that the kid had cocaine in his system when he hit them.  you can read, but driving to the hospital after they were loaded into ambulances, was the first time in my life that i sat there and thought "i may lose someone i love..."

i thought it would be the last for a while, honestly. a very long while.

but it wasn't.

2012 had amazing things happen as well. miller was born. [more pics in this blog post]. she completed me. my sweet baby who just... ::swoon:: she is happy all of the time.

i took them out in march for bluebonnet photos --- pics of the 4 of them, finally, but in reality, miller was too young and reese would run down the hill the second i took my eye off of her lol

i watched reese's love for miller grow every day. im not surprised at how amazingly giggly she gets, now, when miller just comes into the room. "NILLERRRR!!!" as reese says... its been like that for so long.

in may, i took a trip to ohio to see some of my BL girls. some of my best friends. i took miller and aidan with me and left with memories for a lifetime. that wkend was an odd one here at home --- reese puked, for no reason, for most of the wkend. we thought it was dairy - which would have been odd. but now it makes me wonder if it was a "sign" of something to come.

may was also reese's 2nd birthday. my funny baby. we had a party where she stole the show with her hilarious faces and 'tude. and i took her out for photos with the one thing she loves more than anything --- her "laylee"

june brought the heat. the horrible heat. we cooled off by the pool. reese [look how tiny she is hereeee!!!] stole chips -- liiiike she likes to do ;) and we had such a hilarious time tossing her into the water.

4th of july was a ton of fun - we went to the parade and then went and watched fireworks. i got them all decked out in coordinating outfits (lol), like i do, and couldnt wait to see their reaction.

sawyer also turned 4 in july. ohhh sawyer. my sneaky, sassy troublemaker. i think she thinks she is 16. that blog entry also has one of the most hilarious pics of reese everrrr on it.

we lived up august like it was meant to be --- winding down and just relaxing. having fun before school started again.

but, of course, that came to an end for aidan was she went to kindergarden. :cry: the most bittersweet day ever. she is thriving so much in K. she reads, she gets awards, she is a leader... the teacher adores her... she is just so happy.

aidan and sawyer both started dance this year, as well. aidan is really good. truly. watching her really makes me so proud. sawyer makes me proud for other reasons ;) she is so quirky and funny. and just loves to shake it - no matter what anyone else is doing haha

sawyer and reese started preschool in september. for sawyer, this was old hat - her 3rd year at this school. she's a social butterfly now and i just cant believe how amazingly she has grown in that way over the past year. she used to cry when i left, but this year - no way. for reese, this was her first year  - and it was not going as the other's did. reese, unsurprisingly, just wanted to be left alone to do her own thing ;) ironically enough, the day before we found out about her brain tumor, i had talked to the school about just pulling her out for a while. she had been so sick and missed so many days... i didnt want to just drop her off to a place she didnt know that well....

we also went to the plano balloon festival in september. from sept 2011 to the day we went in 2012, aidan and sawyer talked about the 2011 PBF. they just adored it. it was magical to them. so we couldnt wait to take them again this year... and next.

october brought more of the daily grind. which was fine by me. until reese started to get sicker. she'd get better for a few days and we'd go back to being the silly skelte 6 that we have always been.  and then.. bam... something else. when we went to the pumpkin patch, she just seemed so tired... little did we know, right?

....and now we're caught up. caught up to where we were hit with the worst news possible. caught up to where i felt that "lost" feeling.

but those arent my only feelings about the past few months. i felt love. true, unconditional love. i felt support. i felt faith.

"for I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" -- Jeremiah 29:11

^^^ that verse has been written to me a hundred times over the past few months. and each time i am grateful. then last night before i went to bed, it was baylor university's facebook status for the new year [sic 'em]. of course it was --- bc its exactly what i need to remember in 2013.

i will wrap up with some weekend IGs [punkfictionv4]. reese came home after an long wkend for her first in-patient chemo.

#reesey is happy to play #sistersarethebestmedicine #homeiswherethehealthis #gingerfight #reesey is home!! #homeiswherethehealthis #gingerfight Just a quiet time at old navy w @lilydenver 's kids ;) #millerpaige #stopgrowing #getoffmycameragear eeeeek!! She's so cute <3 #sillygirls after bath #selfie pics lol My hams. Lol #aidkaid #sawyergrace Someone isn't asleep #grrrrr #gotobedkid the many faces of #sawyergrace #lifewith4 #happynewyear #bestof2012 #sawyergrace #reesey #millerpaige #aidkaid #sistersarethebestmedicine #sillygirls my fave to date.

From #millerpaige being born to #bluebonnets, #reesey and #sawyergrace 's bdays, #fdos, #balloonfestival, #halloween, and #gingerfight to finally back to #lifewith4 be good to us, 2013


  1. I wish the most amazing things for you and your family in 2013.

  2. You're a great Mom and have built a great team to support Reese....we're all here for you and look forward to small and big milestones and complete healing! -Kris

  3. Beautifully written! Every post I read, I always cry! I am praying that 2013 will be the best year yet! Keep hanging on, keep your faith, keep taking it one step at a time!