Tuesday, July 2, 2013

a little request.

i need something.

i need some prayers for peace.

i am exhausted, recently, from worry. 3 months between MRIs is too long... for me.

i realize that they changed it from 2 months to 3 months because reese is doing so awesome.

but then i stare at her eyes and think something may be wrong. for no reason other than, why not?

in my head, you can't be PROGRESSING but have a bigger tumor in your head. impossible. but even then, i don't know if i believe myself.

her hand opens more often. with help and on its own.
she rocks the walker at PT and we're on our way to getting her one for home.
she talks ::faint:: awesomely. someone actually complimented her speech the other day //heartswell
she is learning things she never knew - like animal sounds, etc. i add more a few times a week and she's like a sponge with it all.
she tells stories.
she is more aware of things - like jokes, how she makes people feel (like she knows she's being funny), different tones of voice, etc.

if you know me - this isn't really like me. i spent months and months feeling... okay. there's just so many hormones in my body i think haha

its hard for me to believe that people regularly get good MRIs. i feel like there has to be a setback. is july 17th my setback? i don't know why i think this because i know, in my heart, its not true...

anyway, so thats about it. prayers that i CHILL THE HECK OUT! and also, of course, for reesey ;)

love you guys. knowing that i can put out this request at all makes me feel better.

instagram has vid now - so come watch reese giggle, WALK, and play with her sisters :) - punkfictionv4

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11 comments:

  1. Oh momma I never stop praying for that sweet Reese! All will be well...those darn hormones....they got me every pregnancy ;) praying for you!

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  2. she's beautiful and everything will be great. prayers for peace for you, and a healthy reese. she is absolutely inspiring and incredibly adorable. ~Jenn

    www.twobytwomom.com

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  3. Prayers for your sweet little girl and for her parents.

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  4. It happens! Its possible! You wont always be waiting for the other shoe to drop ;) Shes a miracle! Xoxoxo

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  5. Praying for that sweet girl and her mama too. ♥

    - Sabra

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  6. Praying for you and your beautiful family. We don't know each other, but we are both mothers. Hugs and prayers! Susan

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  7. I am a brain cancer momma too. I have been following Reese's story on Facebook, but have never commented. My now 6 year old daughter, Kellan, was diagnosed with medulloblastoma eleven days after her 4th birthday. She spent 6 months at St. Jude in Memphis, TN and 6 months on oral chemo at home. She is 1.5 years post-treatment now, and is a cancer-free-almost-1st-grader (woo hoo!!!!!)--but I totally feel you. TOTALLY. 3 months is too long between scans--the more time between "all goods" is the more time I have to worry! Will be praying for your peace, which is sometimes the hardest thing.

    Also, we have 3 girls (6,4,1.5)--we found out we were pregnant with #3 on the day Kellan finished her IV chemo. Our littlest one was a big surprise, but has been a blessing beyond anything we ever could have imagined, and honestly, the baby was a nice distraction from the crazy. Prayers for your pregnancy--so very excited for all of you!!

    --Sarah Good

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    1. <3 thank you. You're so right -- waiting longer to hear "looking good!!" just means more worry time. I think I make up symptoms half of the time haha

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  8. My kiddo has heart issues. I don't need to compare it to cancer because even types of cancer has no comparisons. Or to tumors.

    I'm so sorry about your struggle with anxiety. I wish there were some magic words I can say that will lessen it for you. I wish I would take on your worry for a day so you wouldn't have it weighing upon you. I can tell you that as you start to find coping mechanisms for the worry, you will start to automatically use them without being aware. So that when the worry starts to creep up, you will immediately start to react appropriately.

    Right now, practice what you will do when the anxiety sets in. Teach your mind to take that route. Even if it doesn't work at first, it will eventually.

    I'm a musician, so I go to the place that makes me smile everytime. I have a couple favorite "places" in my head. One is playing Dvorak 6th with my BFF sitting next to me. In order to perform, I do my best when my shoulders are dropped and my throat isn't tight. And I perform the best with my bestie because there is some musical chemistry happening that doesn't happen with anyone else.

    I suppose your favorite place could be when you found out you were pregnant. Or the wind in your hair as you shoot your favorite pictures in the bluebonnet fields. Or the sun setting through your daughters' hair. The trick is to have many places. Because sometimes praying "Please give me peace" doesn't happen right away. I've had that peace prayer since I was a young girl. I suppose God gives us these moments and "places" to allow us to find minutes of peace. And sometimes, all you need is a minute to keep you going for a week.

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