corbin rose.

i had some "fifth element" joke as my title, originally, but then changed my mind ;)

corbin is here. all 6lbs 15oz and 19.25" of her. a pint sized little cuddle bug.

she came into the world just looking around, like aidan did, barely fussing at all.

so we had made it. made it to HOME after reese was sick. made it through xmas.

and now i had a dr appointment on dec 26. i was miserable. last week, i wasnt dilated at all. zip. and then this week i was about 3-4cm. i was contracting, enough for me to do something in a week, i guess.  my dr was leaving town on friday and said i could go over to the hospital and see if i was doing anything worth monitoring. and if we needed to move things along, we could.

so i texted EJ "now or never." lol

i had reese and aidan with me at the dr, but took aidan to my parents house. ej grabbed reese's next IV meds, clothes, necessities, and met me in our room. reese was so ready ;) then she took a nap LOL

they watched me have ctx on my own (and sometimes lack there of) and started me on fluids and said at about 3pm, we could start the pit, if i wanted. which i did. lol

reese and i shared an IV pole, mid afternoon.



we played and hung out. ej ate in front of me and reese stole his diet coke to taunt me with. lol


i got an epidural around, oh, 430pm? and then they were going to break my water. but when they checked me at 5pm or so - corbin's hand was on TOP of her head. lol so we had to wait til she moved it. they finally were able to break my water at about 6pm and i was 5-6cm. so not much movement. which isnt weird for me as i move fast at the end.

which this time was no different.

by 7pm i texted friends saying "holy shit i need more epi". the pressure was 0_o … omg… i hadnt really felt that kind of pressure with my other kids. they gave me a bit more epi meds to last me, but it went too fast after that.


reese was there the whole time just hanging out, chatting, meowing at nurses, demanding more food, and not really understanding what was going on, but she sure was excited when corbin got here.

i pushed one big push, got her head out, they had me stop bc there was a bit of a cord wrap, and then after that - out she came at 7:22pm!


it was all a bit different bc reese was there. its too much to have someone else do her IV meds, etc (which, btw, were due at 7:30pm) - so ej had prepped all that prior and was able to hook it up in no time while everyone was hustling around. it settled down quickly and it was just us in the room -- cuddling and introducing ourselves.




reese went to sleep soon after this, until we moved to a post partum room at about, oh, 10pm? and then ej left with her to get some sleep before the 3am med wake up.

and i was left for my favorite moments of life. just me and my baby. right after birth. when no one is around to chat or ask questions or poke and prod. just staring and smelling and feeding… sigh. i would seriously do the 24 hours of delivery/birth/after every single day of my life.



the next morning, ej got up early to run to get reese's port swapped out (it had been a week) and i waited for my parents to bring the other girls up to meet their newest sister.




and they were in love. just as i knew they would be. it was so amazing to see, again, another sister be added to their troop with ease. they cuddled. they hushed. they rubbed. just so enamored.



and miller. omg miller. i have a vid on IG (punkfictionv4) of her not wanting to give corbin back to me - and that still stands. "i ho'd her!!!" she just wants to have her in her lap at any time. i was curious if she'd be jealous, but it seems as if she has taken on the sister role as well as the others have -- but i knew, as i watch her with reese day to day, that she was that way. she may be a spitfire of the highest order, but she is a caretaker.



then reese came back to hang out again. with her heart on her hand… waiting… as she had told me for months that THAT is where corbin would sleep. "on my heart…"





she looks like reese with her eyes closed, but has miller's eyes (lack of eyelid on top lol - like ej, too). but my oh my what a perfect mix.


i am out of words on what to say about this week. i came home on saturday to normal life. our normal. our perfectly out of sorts and unscheduled normal. the kind of normal that took months to get used to. the same kind that i dont wish on other people, but was our lot in life. the kind of normal that makes me cry with tears of love and hope… worry and fear. i embrace it now, every day. and with corbin here, it all seems perfect. there are only wonderful things ahead - through valleys and mountains - the seven of us, surrounded by amazing friends, family, and prayers, will do it together.

reese's hospital roundup.

 i wanted to get these blogged really quick before i wrote out corbin's birth story, etc. i still have aidan's party and xmas to do, too, but i have been asked how reese is so thats first and foremost :)

reese feels so much better. since ID decided that it was bacterial meningitis, the vanco and cefipime (sp?) worked its magic. all of the neuro side effects went away - which is fascinating (and obviously awesome) to me. the days where she was very sick, her speech was labored, her eye was squinty, she had a harder time following with her eyes… it was all so strange. and scary. :(

but she's back to normal reese now. im having to boot her right leg a bit more since she wasnt walking for a couple of weeks (walker would not fit in room to use and she wasnt allowed OUT of her room). so while we had PT and OT (and music!!) come to the room - it wasnt the same as being at home.

here at home (we left monday the 23rd) we do meds every 8 hours. an hr before its due, we take it out of the fridge. the cefipime is a ball/bubble thing that you hook up and the negative pressure, then, sucks up the meds. we give her benadryl when she does the cefipime bc she is allergic to the vancomycin. after the first, we do the alcohol, saline, etc etc and hook her up to the vanco (on an IV pole) - that takes 2 hours. then after that we saline and heparin lock her. NOW we are on a 6am, 2pm, 10pm schedule but this is really recent. we were on a 3am schedule and it was miserable. we slowly ticked it around.

she has 21 days of these abx - so its over this coming saturday. but there's chemo tomo/wednesday - so they'll be able to do them there. we'll still have an MRI on jan 13, as scheduled, so they can rule out that weird ribbing that we saw with the other scan. no one really has any concerns, considering how well she is doing on the abx. and im holding strong to already having an MRI a few weeks ago with a SHRINKING tumor ;)

on another note - im slightly (ok more than slightly) anxious about reese starting PPCD on monday. i dont want her to go anymore :( but i know it will be best for her. i will miss her. ill miss hanging out during that time. and ill be worrying the entire time she's gone. i am totally crying as i type this, by the way. ha. we'll see - im sure she'll love it so much that my heart will swell. she'll be busy and playing and modeling after other kids -- and standing to do things, etc. its a blessing and i know itll be okay. but my heart still hurts.

ok on to pics. these are just some hospital pics since the last IG ones. :) she loved having her sisters come visit more than anything. #sistersarethebestmedicine indeed.