Monday, June 9, 2014

finishing up and starting again.

i feel like i havent written in so long. the end of the school year is filled with so much that i have great intentions and then, life takes me away somewhere else.

we had recital, first. another year done. aidan was in 6 dances and sawyer in 2. (they were in one together). i just love watching them both. they make my heart swell with pride. so beaut

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then it was the end of school week. where my mind *almost* exploded, but a few awesome people saved my sanity. in the pics, you can see the ones where i compare from the beginning of the school year. and omg ::cuethetears:: wow. aidan and sawyer have grown up so much. we went to their school parties - where everyone, of course, loves the bald sister ;) we are going to miss this school next year. :( so many friends -- and so much love. just… so many people who truly care about our family. we have been so blessed for the past 2 years. since we moved, we are at a new elem school - and i have high hopes that their new school is just as great.

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today, though. sigh.

today was miller and reese's first dance class. i tried to get photos of them altogether. i, also, tried to get pics of reese alone in her outfit, but no. ;) i watched from outside the metal blinds. i watched miller giggle. i watch reese walk around in a circle singing ring around the rosey. i watched miller get excited about the music. and then watched reese stand up, on her own, against the wall, with the other kids.

miller ran out and gave me a huge hug. reese scooted on over with the biggest smile on her face. these are the moments… these are what get me to the next day.

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next week reese has an MRI. on tuesday. i am, as always, caught between being so scared, knowing that something could be wrong. something could show up, grow, ruin our lives. and then knowing there's nothing i can do either way. that she is so happy. so so happy. that she jokes and talks and kisses. that she cuddles and fights with her sisters. that she is sneaky and… happy. and that there is no reason to believe something is wrong inside that gorgeous head.

a head that has hair growing back. a halo of white. there is a pattern of growth on her head - as it gets longer, it looks a bit darker. i rub my hands, my face, on it all day. i love it. she loves it. "my hair come back!!" she says. i carry around her 10lb lunchboxes full of tape measures and noodles. and cell phones. and other things. and relish in her surprise kisses on my cheek. her thankful nose kisses when i get her a drink at nighttime.

all of it.

so another school year has ended. another dance recital has passed. summer activities have already begun. and this is how i hope it stays. forever.

please pray for awesome MRI results next week. i want to continue to live life the way we are right now - by watching hair grow.

IG: punkfictionv4

1 comment:

  1. I feel like I know your family, and I love how you capture your life in photos. I read often, comment rarely, but I had to tonight because those pictures of Reese and Miller in dance class made me cry. Such beautiful, strong girls you have!