a simple virus.

it started with sawyer puking once at school.

i thought it was her new meds.

reese got a fever later in the week and then woke up and i thought she was going to throw up. i called the onc nurses because it actually freaked me out. i almost kept reese home from school on halloween - a fun FUN day at school - because of it. of course the nurses assured me that it was because i was on high alert.

it was 2 years since dx. 

so i waited all day for 2pm to roll around... its weird to miss someone after such a short amount of time. but i worried all day that i would get some call that she threw up.

but she didn't.

instead, we got ready for scare on the square.

we weren't there for long and it was cold. i did get some smiles. we got to giggle with friends, but i was so ready to get home to get to EJ and to trick or treating.




we walked around the neighborhood, EJ put his rig on and was a skydiver, reese and corbin in the stroller, miller/aidan/sawyer running from house to house. we saw friends and neighbors and relished in all of the reasons that we chose this neighborhood. the kids, the families. it was perfect.

saturday we spent all day at the mall. the kids were tired. i could tell not everyone was up to par. EJ and i went to a wonderful and gorgeous wedding on saturday night, but our sitter called to tell us that reese was asleep the whole time. we got home, still asleep. i woke up in the middle of the night and didnt feel good, but figured i had too much wine - reese woke up for the day and puked.

i couldn't even breathe. 

EJ took her to the ER at legacy. i called downtown to let them know. i simply told the fellow on call the facts - she has a shunt. she has a brain tumor. and she puked. so off she went. i wasn't asking - i was telling.

they did a dozen neuro exams on her and decided virus. by the time they got home... i agreed.

i was so sick. fever. puking. running to the bathroom. it was lord of the flies in the house with the other 4 kids, while EJ was gone. i was just laying on the floor while they ruled around me.

reese had gotten zofran and felt better. the rest of the day we slept it off. she puked again in the middle of the night on sunday, i kept her home monday.

yesterday, reese went to school. they all went to school. i still seem to have low grade fevers around here, but nothing too weird.

then last night i got "the tap" at midnight from aidan. she had thrown up all over her bathroom.

...and another one bit the dust. 

let me say, had i not been sick this wkend with a stomach virus, i would have been sick with worry. i can safely say that i would not have slept soundly, until december, with her next MRI. in the back of my mind, i would have wondered if they missed something - if it really was just a simple virus.

i have not had to do something this normal in a while. lots of laundry, extra baths, the time change making everyone so sleepy. normal fall, i suppose.

laced with worry, of course. as it will be forever.

(every day photos. starting from sept 1 til now)