Sunday, May 10, 2015

happy mother's day.

The night before my kids' birthdays, I start to go through photos, find ones that I want to post or just smile at memories as I click through folders on the computer. I earmark ones I want to remember to print, I laugh about who looks like who and tears always well up in my eyes as I think of another year passing.

When reese was born, we lapped most of our friends on the amount of children we had back then. I always wanted more kids, but never knew that we'd be at 5 only a few years later.

But this birthday eve is also mother's day. Aidan woke me up with breakfast in bed (which included 3 no carb crepes that I made yesterday and put in the fridge and a monster energy drink). She knows how to keep me going ;)

We headed to church and then off to lunch with my parents. We then headed furniture window shopping and came home for naps. During naps, I did laundry. So that is neat. lol

Sawyer made me a beautiful painting that she *had* to give me last night. Aidan filled out this questionnaire at school.

Miller filled out a form, like that, at her school, too. She stated I like to play on the trampoline for fun and that my job is "getting reesey help". The last part fascinated me, really. I couldn't decide if it made my heart swell or break.

I did the math, recently, and realized that it's officially been over 1/2 of reese's life that she has been dealing with her tumor. She knows nothing else, I imagine. She doesn't remember life before 2.5 years old, I am sure. If she does, I am certain she can not discern between that and tumor time. It is all just how it is.

I don't want this to be reese's birthday post because I am just not ready to do that, yet. I can't believe she is going to be 5. I can't believe that she will be going to kindergarten next year.

Happy mother's day to all my sweet friends out there who go through the same trials as I do. Who are exhausted by 4pm and need to refill the coffee pot. Happy mother's day to those who I know who have lost a child, I grieve for you and pray your heart can heal. Happy mother's day to those who desperately want to hold their own baby and have not yet. So many different types of mothers. All with the same love.

My mother's day was amazing because I was able to spend it with the ones that I love. I am able to celebrate this day because as a college kid in 2006, I craved cotton candy at the grocery store and thought maybe I should take a pregnancy test. These five who still call my mommy, not mom. These who still want to sleep ON me, who want to cuddle under the same blanket, who want to spend their time with me.


No comments:

Post a Comment