round again.

Scanxiety is a little different now.

Reese's MRI is in 2 weeks - Tuesday the 27th. We go to the pavilion at Children's this time because they are doing something at the main radiation spot. I already am annoyed that things are "different" than usual, but for MRIs at the pavilion, I can be with her till she goes to sleep. That being said, she doesn't care about that because she loves the gas mask. Also, the last time that I did an MRI at the pavilion was December 2012, before her 2nd surgery.

I don't really worry about the MRI the same way as I used to. I have heard it all, now, and am vaguely prepared for most of it. I have spent almost 3 years now educating myself on protocols, mutations, surgeries, laser options, timing and speed of growth, and so forth. I have spent months hearing "shrinkage". I have heard "stable" for a long time. I have heard "growth" as well as "looks stable ish" throughout the past year. Really, I just want to hear what they have to say. I am almost counting down the days to the MRI because I want to know what the plan is. The plan may be as it has since January.  I hope so, anyway. But if it is not, we will move on - and Reese has been practicing swallowing pills in case we move to dabrafanib.

Yesterday, she lost her first tooth. Whoa...

We had all been wiggling this tooth for weeks. I was in disbelief, honestly, that she was old enough to lose her first tooth. I am downright giggly to tell her doctors. I don't know if they thought she'd make it to the age where she could lose a tooth, 3 years ago. But last night the tooth fairy came and this morning was magical. Then I got an email from her teacher on how the entire class was excited for her... the whole day melted my heart. Reese told me that one of her friends chose her for "eat lunch with a friend" and I cried. I legit sat there and cried happy tears that she is so loved.

Things are so normal and not normal at the same time. This is how I always thought my life would be  - taking kids to school and preschool and another kid at home. Going to dance and soccer and meetings and girls night out. But, then on mondays/tuesdays, depending on the week, we have to stop that normal life and head to chemo. I am still that mom that talks about things that makes everyone halt for a second to hear "oh, sorry, my daughter has a brain tumor" because otherwise the story doesn't make sense. All of this is okay. I understand that the journey we are on is years long. Years past today. That is okay, too.

As we approach 3 years, I think about how far we, as a family, have come... grown... sticked together. All of it is okay.

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