Friday, December 29, 2017

i have a best friend.

I have this best friend. I don't really know what to say except that she's the counterpart to the weirdest parts of my brain. I go into the deepest places of the oddest parts of the internet and there she is laughing with me. Her husband, Kirk, has stage 4 colon cancer.

Let me explain something. A little over a year ago, Brittany was taking care of her grandfather who had colon cancer. He lived with them, she took care of everything - and this wasn't even the first time she has done that. Brittany's job, for years, is to take care of an adult low functioning autistic 23 year old. She knows that family bc she took care of BOTH of that girl's parents who died of different types of cancer. Brittany is a professional in the absolutely worst department - death.

Kirk and Reese have a bond. They are "porties". He goes to lunch with her - brings her favorite. Chick-fil-a nuggets, fries, and a diet coke. They laugh, take pictures, the school office says nothing of this odd couple arrangement of BFFs that shows up on Kirk's off-chemo weeks.



Diagnosed in January of this year, there was so much hope. Surgery, chemo.... but that chemo didn't work. Parts of my heart were broken and dissapated into heartbreak as the protocols trucked on, but Kirk's multiple tumors didn't cooperate. Conversely, Reese's tumors shrunk as Kirk's became uncontrollable.

Jan 8 is the start of a trial. The last scan says what everyone knew - things have grown, metastatic spread to the liver and other body parts has been something that has been looming over everyone's head since he was diagnosed. The trial will be hard, as far as organizationally, and I will be there to help in the ways that I can. I will sit at your house, I will make you dinner, I will do laundry to the best of my ability (to your standards, B haha), and I will take their daughter, Miller's BFF, every night, if needed. It is one of the things I love to do most.


<3 nbsp="" p=""> Dear Kirk,

You. You are the most amazing and brave human that I currently know. That is saying something since I have a daughter with a brain tumor. There is something to be said about pediatric cancers, though - they have a will and way that is untainted by life. Being brave to a child isn't the same as the stressors as being brave for an adult and that makes this journey 100x harder than I ever would have wanted for you.

You. You are the best father and husband that someone could have - because I know that you worry, you care, you stress. But I need you to understand that no matter what happens, I am the people. I am here. With tears in my eyes, streaming down my face, I want to tell you that I am here and I won't ever be anywhere else except here. I am here to rally your family. I am here to get your wife out of bed. I am here to take your children to school and cry in the car if need be. I am here. I am here to drink Mich Ultra on the patio you built and to find hilarious colorectal cancer cards on Etsy to make you laugh. I want you, most of all, to breathe easy that I am here for whatever life throws at your wife. She is my other half. My person. The other person on the planet that understands the oddest things I can think.

I love you stoma "ch",

amanda. 

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