Sunday, May 10, 2015

happy mother's day.

The night before my kids' birthdays, I start to go through photos, find ones that I want to post or just smile at memories as I click through folders on the computer. I earmark ones I want to remember to print, I laugh about who looks like who and tears always well up in my eyes as I think of another year passing.

When reese was born, we lapped most of our friends on the amount of children we had back then. I always wanted more kids, but never knew that we'd be at 5 only a few years later.

But this birthday eve is also mother's day. Aidan woke me up with breakfast in bed (which included 3 no carb crepes that I made yesterday and put in the fridge and a monster energy drink). She knows how to keep me going ;)

We headed to church and then off to lunch with my parents. We then headed furniture window shopping and came home for naps. During naps, I did laundry. So that is neat. lol

Sawyer made me a beautiful painting that she *had* to give me last night. Aidan filled out this questionnaire at school.

Miller filled out a form, like that, at her school, too. She stated I like to play on the trampoline for fun and that my job is "getting reesey help". The last part fascinated me, really. I couldn't decide if it made my heart swell or break.

I did the math, recently, and realized that it's officially been over 1/2 of reese's life that she has been dealing with her tumor. She knows nothing else, I imagine. She doesn't remember life before 2.5 years old, I am sure. If she does, I am certain she can not discern between that and tumor time. It is all just how it is.

I don't want this to be reese's birthday post because I am just not ready to do that, yet. I can't believe she is going to be 5. I can't believe that she will be going to kindergarten next year.

Happy mother's day to all my sweet friends out there who go through the same trials as I do. Who are exhausted by 4pm and need to refill the coffee pot. Happy mother's day to those who I know who have lost a child, I grieve for you and pray your heart can heal. Happy mother's day to those who desperately want to hold their own baby and have not yet. So many different types of mothers. All with the same love.

My mother's day was amazing because I was able to spend it with the ones that I love. I am able to celebrate this day because as a college kid in 2006, I craved cotton candy at the grocery store and thought maybe I should take a pregnancy test. These five who still call my mommy, not mom. These who still want to sleep ON me, who want to cuddle under the same blanket, who want to spend their time with me.


skeltekids

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

cruise and beach part 2.

(you can read PART ONE here)

so I should start with an update :) as most have seen on instagram or reese's fb page, her MRI was stable ::confetti:: so what a great way to start another 3 months. we had chemo this afternoon and then dance, dinner, bed. and now I can finally sit down to post the pics from the second half of vacation.

wednesday night was pirate night. which was a lot of fun, looking back. the kids had a really great time at the show, but fireworks were so late (yes, I know they had to be bc of light ;) but aidan was begging to go back to bed - but the disney chants of THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE HERE FOR!! kept entering my head and so we stayed up the extra 10 mins lol).

and thank you Rhinestones and Tutus for these AMAZING pirate dresses and sashes/headwraps. We were stopped a dozen times with compliments.


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thursday was our "at sea" day. we played by the pools, relaxed, gambled on a little more bingo ;)

since it was the last night on the boat, we let the girls wear what they wanted, took hilarious pics with the boat "photographer" on the amazing backdrop ;) and partied in the main lobby with the lounge singer. After all of that, we headed to our final show - which really was wonderful. A lot of the disney stuff on the ship went over the girls' heads bc they don't know a lot of the old characters/storylines (i.e.: pocahantas, hunchback of nd, etc), but the final show was full of fun and magic.

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I am so grateful for being able to have such amazing people to organize this trip for us. It was fun, overwhelming, busy, magical, tiring, and well worth it - all in one. To see your child's eyes light up over something, even small, makes every rush and deadline of the day, worth it. Everyone who asks me about it knows that we had a wonderful time - but after those 5 days, I was ready to sit on a beach and relax. We got off the boat, rented a car, and then took ourselves on a 3 day vacation on our own, in cocoa beach.

Reese collected hundreds of shells. She followed her sisters into the ocean, laughed as the waves splashed her feet. She sat under umbrellas and giggled at the pure joy of the day. Aidan and Sawyer were taken by the waves in the most freeing way. They stayed out in the water, with EJ, for endless amounts of time, jumping and swimming into the salt water. The girls made sand castles and buried themselves.

They made secret handshakes and made me go inside so I wouldn't hear it.

It was the perfect end to the perfect week.

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then it was back to reality.

I uploaded these photos to my main computer when I got home and just sat there... staring. I clicked through them all so many times and smiled, feeling so blessed that we were able to experience this with each other. So many memories made...

I had a strange sense of peace about the MRI this time around - The week had been so amazing that I wasn't sure if I was giving myself an odd sense of confidence that I should not have - or if I just knew. Hearing "stable" today was the icing on the cake.

This week has been spent trying to catch up on sleep (ha!) and doing laundry. Tomorrow is reese's "kindergarten round up".

...omg...

how is that possible? we have been on this journey more than half of her life. My sweet girl turns 5 on monday and then starts kindergarten in the fall. 2.5 years ago on that halloween night, she was a baby. But now she tells me "I not need your help. I a big girl."

Yes you are.

Thank you for your prayers about her MRI and for my sanity the past couple of days. I felt them from all over.

The memories made in the sand and salt water are ones that last a lifetime - and I obviously have the photos to back it up ;)