Monday, April 14, 2014

big steps.


i dont know we got the small metal walker out, but we did. i put some glitter pink washi on the bar and called it her "sparkle walker".

the next day, i brought it, on a whim, to target with us. its easily tossed into the front seat. she wanted it to come. that, alone, was huge. but then she said she wanted to walk into target.

and she did.

i had heard "i hate my pink walker" for so long. a very expensive piece of metal, taking up space in the dining room..

now, let me explain how this went. i got corbin into the basket of a cart and pushed that along as we ever slowly walked across the uneven ground. she yelled at cars that were coming. yet everyone patiently waited for her to pass, waving and giving a sweet smile as they drove by.

we got to the other side, she teetered back a bit, and i rescued her and tossed everything into the cart. i was beaming. just so proud of her.

i kept at it. she uses it around the house, sometimes. she walked into PT with it. its just wonderful. tonight she walked about 4 steps from standing in the middle of her room, to me. and she has also started using the pink walker again because of her new found confidence.

things, in general, are wonderful. there is reese in a good mood and then there's reese how she's been recently - which is awesome. not being sick, helps ;) but we truly spend all day laughing and making jokes and cuddling. we are kitty cats, we write hearts on our hands. we have fun. she is starting to act more "hi, im 4 years old." and less OMG OUTRAGE three'nager.

we have her last MRI while on chemo, tomorrow. and yes, then we have a meeting after that - so no waiting. i am not nervous. at least, right now. i dont know why, but i feel very at peace, mainly feeling as if she is going to rock it. tomorrow, i will feel less certain. but i'll be up at 5am, drink my coffee, feed corbin, pack them both up, and head down as confident as i can be. EJ is going to take A and S to school, then meet us. M is already at my parents' house since they didnt really want a 6am drop off ;)

at labs last week, i tried to get some pics of reese doing what she does. with the people she loves. miller came with us and was, surprisingly, great. reese walked the hall, gave cuddles and thumbs up, and gave some blood. all in a days work, i suppose. how so strange it will be for these to become less frequent. being ripped from a routine is miserable. i felt that way about "drop offs, gym, pick ups, dance" that i had before reese was dx. how strange that i feel even worse about going back to that this summer.

reese-M walker1 reese-M walker bw1 2014-04-08_001 CMC apr labs8 2014-04-08_002 CMC apr labs10 2014-04-08_003 CMC apr labs11

i feel the need to rush and make memories. different kinds of memories than i am used to. i just want to make sure i document how things go right now, at the hospital. people she sees, things she regularly does. i don't know, but its overwhelming. i want photos with doctors and nurses. we will be seeing them, all of the time, still. but eventually in a different type of setting, i suppose... or hope... or whatever. i am trying to plan next week's "end of chemo" in-patient. and that is tipping my scale.

reese had a hearing test today. meh. she has dropped off on her high frequency hearing. which is to be expected. and we're almost done, so...

i think she expected me to make a sad face or something, but i just said "oh ok. thank you!" and went on my way. all things considered, high frequency loss is pretty low on my freakout totem pole. she could be going deaf and we'd say "i guess we should all learn sign language" - because in the end, it just matters that she is here with us. and happy. so this was okay.


aidan woke up from a sleepover on saturday and her eye hurt. long story short, EJ was at the legacy children's ER that night - pink eye and a corneal abrasion. :( sweet girl. she was simply excited about "a bracelet like reese!" i kept her home today, from school, but at least she's not contagious anymore (we got the 8 hr meds). let me say, eye drops for 5 days, though, is no fun for a 7 year old.... or the eye drop giver. ::twitch::


we spent yesterday evening at the splash pad. after hearing that this week was going to be so cold, we had to get out and get some sun. they had so much fun just running around and eating dinner picnic style.

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summer is coming. freedom is coming. i am hesitant and nervous... and excited. the countdown to reese's last chemo is about a week. i have to get my thoughts together. and pray that this it.

another new normal. after already getting used to this one.

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  1. Eye dropper tip (it works for us): Have the kid lay down - on the floor, on the couch, in their bed...where ever they will be comfortable and/or relaxed. Ask them to close their eyes and drop the meds into the corner of the eye where tears come out when you cry. Now, ask them to open their eye while still laying down and the meds should roll into the eye. If not, gently tip their head until the meds roll in. Ta-da! Done, without the squinting, blinking, holding-their-head-down-drama! Hope it helps.

  2. Oh that picture of Reece and the cat, adooorrabblle! :)